10.12.09

Contributor: Michael Langley

Image: Kelly Allen

As noted below, SullivanPerkins recently received four prestigious Quill Awards. One of them was for a piece I worked on: the BNSF Bottom Well Direct Mail. Sadly, I was not able to be present to accept the Award. Had I been, here’s what I might have said.

Sit down, Kanye! This is my moment.

[Pause for laughter.]

That’s a joke, folks. Is this thing on?

Anyhoo, thank you so much. Wow, this is heavier than it looks. I thought feathers were supposed to be light.

[Pause for laughter.]

It’s a statue of a feather, people. So it’s heavy. Okay, tough crowd, no problem.

First I’d like to thank the International Association of Business Communicators. Secondly, I’d like to thank BNSF Railway for giving me a chance to work on this great project. The Bottom Well Direct Mail was more than just another job to me. It was a chance for me to mature as a copywriter and as human being. Because the piece was promoting something with the word “bottom” in it. And because it had to do with putting “loads” there.

I will spare you my first few headline attempts. I look back with shame at the 20 minute giggling fit they triggered. But the important thing is I pushed through that immaturity and came up with several ideas promoting this fantastic, highly secure service that lets you reserve the lower well of a double stacked container berth on a BNSF intermodal train – and none of those ideas were butt-related. (Pause for applause.)

Please, sit down. As we all know, the winning direction was a heavily duct-taped box with the tantalizing question: Are secure shipments important to you? A little trade secret: If you want someone to open something, put a question on the outside whose answer is “What am I an idiot? Yes!” And then there was the chocolate bar inside. Why? How does that tie into the concept? Here’s another tip for you young creatives: It’s never wrong to throw a chocolate bar into a concept.

In closing, I will leave you with another tantalizing question: Have you ever overcome your own immaturity to create a solid, effective piece of marketing? Let me know about it at [email protected]. The best answer gets a chocolate bar.

Thank you all. (Wipe away tears.) Bottom of the world, Ma!